bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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