guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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