Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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