i just wanna soil my oats bro
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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