I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
