Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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