My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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