If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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