so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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