That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
