I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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