I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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