yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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