Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize