if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
