just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
