I'm lost and stupid without you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
