OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
