doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize