Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
