Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
