Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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