im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
