yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
