Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
