home. puking in laundry basket.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
