i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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