wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
