I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
