Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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