Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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