i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
