I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
only if we run a train.
done.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
