Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
