look no pants
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
