it wasn't lemon gatorade
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
