Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
