they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
