Sponge bath it is.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
