So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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