babies were throwing up all over the place
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
