Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
