so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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