Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
