It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
