What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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