apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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