It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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