she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
