Are we in a gay sports bar?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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