Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
