1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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