I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
