is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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