You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
