"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
