There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
