This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
