i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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