Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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