Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
