I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
