dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
