stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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