is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
