I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
