he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
