we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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