He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
