I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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