What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My feet surprised me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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