I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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