I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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